It takes energy to relate.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It takes capacity to stay present in a difficult conversation instead of immediately becoming defensive or shutting down. It takes capacity to feel safe enough for real intimacy, to know what feels nourishing and what doesn't, to hold a boundary, to soften, to play, to create, and to care for another person without completely abandoning ourselves in the process. It takes capacity to grieve too... to let life completely rearrange us and somehow remain open to it.
Over the last several years, and especially as I've gone deeper into the HTMA world and nourishing my own mineral terrain, I've apprenticed myself to the relationship between the physical and the spiritual.
To the intersection of tending to my physical body, not bypassing it, while also tending the thread of the magical, of the undeniable connection I have, we all have, to the more-than-human world. And more recently, I've walked through the death of my father, a miscarriage, and some really deep relational ruptures within my community.
At the same time, I've experienced what it feels like to be in a genuinely beautiful, safe, healthy partnership and to keep deepening in intimacy through some really hard seasons of life. And I believe my minerals, and having a more fortified and balanced terrain, have a lot to do with how well I've navigated these recent initiations.
I'm seeing a feedback loop I can no longer ignore: between our physical bodies and our less tangible reality.
How much does our physical terrain shape our consciousness?
If we are deeply depleted, mineral imbalanced, chronically stressed, carrying heavy metals and other burdens, are we actually experiencing ourselves and the world from our truest, most natural state? Or are we experiencing life through the lens of a body struggling to find balance? And if our physical terrain shapes how we experience the world, how does that express itself in our relationships? In our ability to feel safe, to trust, to connect, to discern, to soften, to love?
This is the edge I'm most curious about right now.
Because healing doesn't happen in isolation. It happens in relationship—with ourselves, our partners and families, our communities, the Earth, Spirit. And when there is more of us available, there is more of us available to relate.
For years, I've held a prayer for this property I live on and what it could eventually become. I've held a vision for it being of service, for it becoming another way of giving back to this beautiful Richmond community. And now, slowly but very actually, that prayer is starting to come to fruition. I can't share all of it yet because there's still a lot unfolding, but I can't help but notice the timing.
As I've gone further down this path of tending to my own terrain, so many things I've prayed for are beginning to take form around me. And no, I don't mean "balance your minerals and manifest your dreams" 😂. I mean something much more grounded than that.
I wonder what becomes possible when we actually have the capacity to meet the things we've been asking for.
To recognize them when they arrive, to say yes, to steward them well, to navigate the uncomfortable conversations and inevitable challenges that come with bringing a vision into reality, and to stay in relationship when things get hard. To have enough life force and energy available to actually participate in creating the life we so deeply desire.
Maybe our dreams require resources, too. Maybe our prayers require a body that actually has the capacity to participate in their becoming.
There is something kind of wild and beautiful about tending to my own internal terrain while, at the exact same time, this literal piece of land I love so much is beginning to transform. The deeper I go into this work, the less interested I am in separating any of it. The body isn't separate from the psyche. Nourishment isn't separate from consciousness. Our individual healing isn't separate from how we show up in relationship. And our relationship with ourselves isn't separate from our relationship with other people, the Earth, or Spirit.
Becoming more fully ourselves isn't about adding another layer of self-improvement. I'm finding it's about giving the body what it needs so that more of who we already are can come through.
What becomes possible when the body has enough resources to meet the life the soul has been longing for?
This is a prayer I hold for my family, my loved ones, my community, and beyond. May we feel fortified enough to dream greatly, and have the resources—internally and externally—to slowly and steadily bring those dreams to life.
If you’re feeling this, I was recently on a podcast talking about HTMA and some of these topics listen here: Podcast